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Without proper preparation – like foreplay and lube – anal sex can be painful, causing tears that allow bacteria or viruses to more easily enter your bloodstream. There are a variety of butt plug training kits on the market that come with plugs ranging from small to larger sizes. These can gradually stretch the muscles and make them more responsive to anal play. They usually look like a cone – starting narrow and getting wider before narrowing again – but can also be long and ribbed. They should also have a wide base to prevent the toy from going in too far.

And they should only be used with partners you’re fluid bonded with. "Bacterial colonies love moisture so after you clean a toy, dry it thoroughly," says Stubbs. Simply blot the toy dry with a clean towel or leave the toys out to air dry. While couples who are fluid bonded — AKA intentionally, consensually, and purposely sharing body fluids — can share a stroker no problem, if you aren’t fluid bonded you need to get two separate toys.

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